I can’t stop thinking about it, researching it, planning it. I have everything ready already. It almost happened yesterday, but my son came in the room. I cried for hours afterward. The truth is that he’d be better off without me anyway though. Everyone would. I just make it all harder for them. I’m at this point where I am simply running out of reasons to continue living. I feel like I can’t make anyone happy, not at work, not at home. And I am certainly not happy. Getting up in the morning is becoming harder every day. No, I don’t think they have any idea. I put on a happy face most of the time, go to work, just act normal. I don’t want them to worry, you know?
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