I feel as though I haven’t slept in 30 years. It’s like I’m a child, terrified of the dark. Terrified of what happens the instant I close my eyes. The nightmares bring it all back, everything that happened. It’s like I’m really there again, reliving it. No matter how many times I’ve woken up, no matter how long it has been, in my dreams I forget that I’m not fighting anymore. I forget that I’m safe. I feel like I really need help. I’ve already waited too long. I can’t explain the flashbacks to my family, but I know they can see how they are deteriorating me. I just don’t know how much longer I can go like this.

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