We weren’t able to find a decent, regular sitter in this place so my husband encouraged me to quit my job and just enjoy time with the new baby. I was excited at first, you know? But as time went on, that changed. I became bored. I feel so useless. I miss my work. All I do all day, every day is clean up spit up and change diapers. I find myself blaming my child. And then completely overwhelmed with guilt for it. A crushing guilt. I can never explain this to my husband. He would call me the bad mother that I am, and I can’t bear to see the disappointment in his face. I love my child, but I resent her. I don’t want to resent my baby. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.

 

 

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