I’m scaring myself. Sometimes I think I’m not even alive anymore, like a ghost. I keep having these moments. Everyone tells me not to worry about them. But I feel like I’m watching my life happen to someone else. Like I have no control over it. No, I haven’t been taking the medications. They just make me sleep. There is no in between. And no one has time to deal with me. I feel trapped between barely living and living without control of my life. It’s a nightmare.

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